Are you a phone addict?
Are your eyeballs glued to social media?
Do you shake like a heroin addict on a trans-Atlantic flight if you can’t check your messages?
I’m not and I don’t.
So this weekend when I went for a hike in the Shenandoah National Forest, of course I left my phone in the car.
But I did take one photo before entering the forest.
If you can’t read it, let me translate it for you here:
“Welcome to our beautiful forest! Before you enter the woods, your government would like to remind you there’s a killer virus hunting you right now. To survive, you should wash your hands and wear a mask before and after you look at our trees. If you see a squirrel, do not panic. Wash your hands for twenty seconds. If you wash your hands for 19 seconds, you will die. But twenty is juuuust right. Have fun!”
That makes sense, right?
After all, it’s a message from the government.
And the government is full of people who have titles and wear uniforms.
We call them experts.
And experts are always correct, right?
Recently, someone wrote me a message on Facebook.
“Sir, what are your qualifications to teach?” he asked.
In other words, are you an expert?
Here is my #1 qualification: I don’t trust the experts.
The experts told you, To learn English, sit in this classroom.
The experts told you, To learn English, memorize these rules.
And the experts told you, To learn English you must pass this test.
Well, how did that work out?
Because you’re reading this, it probably wasn’t a dream solution.
Thank you, experts.
Oh, and the experts would like you to wash your hands after reading this email.