I used to have an office in Prague. But after a few months I went back to teaching in my apartment. I thought sitting at a big, wooden table in an old Prague 1 building would be more professional than sitting on my blue couch.
But really, the only difference was that my students weren’t as relaxed. And that was definitely the case with the student I’m about to tell you about.
When I walked in that morning he was already sitting at the table waiting for me.
I introduced myself. We shook hands. I offered him some coffee. Then I went to the kitchen to make it.
That was maybe ten seconds total. A dozen words were spoken. But I already had a strong feeling about this young man. And it wasn’t positive.
I knew what his real problem was right away.
But of course, when I came back into the room and interviewed him, he told me his problem was his grammar.
You see, he wanted more foreign customers. But after he met with a potential client, they would choose his competition.
Well, his English wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad. In fact, I had a hard time finding his mistakes.
So, in my opinion, the reason he was losing business was not because of what he was saying with his words, but what he was saying with his body.
Here’s what I saw: his arms were crossed and there was a big frown on his face.
He looked pissed off!
And who wants to do business with someone who looks like he’s about to smash a window?
Body language is SO important. Little things that we’re not usually aware of communicate so loudly they can yell. Sometimes we can’t even hear what the person is saying because their body language is so loud.
Change your body language and you can, without using any conditionals or confusing phrasal verbs, tell the other person a message everyone loves to hear, which is:
“You’re important and I’m listening to you.”
Who doesn’t want to hear that?
Bad Body Language
- Crossed arms
- Looking at your watch
- Looking at your phone
- Looking around the room
- A frown on your face
- A stone face (you don’t move the muscles in your face)
Good Body Language
- Eye contact
- Leaning in
- Nodding when the person talks
- Expressive face (you move the muscles in your face)
- Smiling (But not fake; it can be a small smile.)
And though not technically body language, I recommend you also throw in the occasional “Uh huh,” “Hmmm,” or “Oh really…” to communicate that you’re listening.