What’s the best language school?
I don’t know.
I think they’re all a waste of time.
But I’m pretty sure I know which one is the most expensive.
(I think you do, too. But I don’t want to write their name because their lawyers are probably expensive, also.)
So whenever a student tells me that he /she used to take classes at The Most Expensive Language School, I get curious – I want to find out their teaching secrets!
So I ask.
And here’s what I’ve learned.
These are…”Secrets From The Most Expensive Language School.”
1. Teaching The Same Bad Methods Since 1934
In 1934 doctors thought smoking was a good idea.
And in 1934 language schools thought teaching words in thematic groups was a good idea.
(For example, you learn all the months at the same time, all the colors at the same time, all the numbers at the same time, etc.)
After a lot of research, the doctors changed.
But the Most Expensive Language School didn’t .
Research published in 1990 proved it takes 35% longer to remember words when you learn them in a thematic group. And when you finally do remember them, you will confuse 25% (Is it April or March…? Is California east or west…? Do I teach or learn at school…?)
2. Advanced Stress And Boredom Technology
How do you feel when you’re in a classroom with 20 other students?
If you’re like me, then mostly boredom with a few brief moments of stress whenever the teacher calls your name.
But according to research, when you’re very relaxed you learn the best; when your brain waves reach the “alpha state.”
Stress and boredom are the worst for learning.
So compared to the cheap language schools, which only use stress and boredom in their classrooms, The Most Expensive Language School also uses computer whiteboard technology.
3. Only The Best Grammar
Every school teaches grammar.
But because The Most Expensive Language School costs more, their grammar must be the best.
The sirloin steak of grammar…
The Ferrari of grammar…
The Louis Vuitton of grammar…